18 comments

  1. This topic hits close to home. More I grow older, the more I realize it affects everything in my life. Specially my relationships. Now I’m not gonna sit here and blame my parents because they’re also a product of their environment, but I’m never gonna let my kids someday witness what I did as a kid. If you had domestic abuse, family violence or simply arguments all the time around you as a child, start thinking about how it affects you and break the cycle. Don’t repeat what you saw as a kid. I’m trying my best to do that too.

  2. My father and mother used to quarrel but it was because of my father’s family manipulating him. For year’s we tried to make him understand he didnt. Things happened let’s say he saw through the facade of his family and now doesnt even acknowledge their existence. Of course, I too as a son had to come forward sometimes to make them understand. I openly told them both, if you ever fought over some reason, I first one that will die will be me. They started minding themselves slowly and now things are very good we all love each more than ever. It’s about making your parents understand that it suffocates you. But of course, if the problem itself is you father or mother it won’t work as it did in my case because here my father was not the problem his family was.

  3. Hi, my father and mother constantly fought when I was a kid. I saw them grabbing each other’s throat and throwing stuffs at each other. I would awkwardly pick up the stuffs they threw around when they fought. My mother once told me that my father once beat her to an inch of her life, allegedly.

    I clearly remember those fights like yesterday.

    Weirdly, I don’t think I am affected much by it.

    DM me if you wanna talk, I could tell you my story.

    I come from a very fucked up family/past but I believe I am doing pretty well in life.

  4. Looking at all these comments. I feel like iam lucky. Never had to witness such in my childhood. But relatives backstabbing chai dekheko ho. Mukh ma ram ram bagali ma chura.

  5. Well, you grow up to become a shy,unconfident,introvert,constantly stressed and alert on what stuff you do or say would upset them(you stop to communicate and people just say your shy when it is that you have no idea how to communicate and form deep connections with anyone).you become self destructive,insecure person who eventually will get scared of people and also will end up getting bullied by his classmates,and just alienate yourself from others to escape the pain and confusion.all you think is how you should act how you should talk so that people will come to like you and not hate or discard you.you loose who you are.you don’t even know what you want,how to accept the things you want without thinking if saying it would make you a so called matteko bigreko chora.you begin searching pleasure in other things instead of facing the pain.you develop habit of running away from pain and discomfort.you dont even try anything new.you don’t have the feeling that you are loved,protected,and someone’s there to save and guide you, when people are mean to you and you cant understand why they are like that.you feel like you are the cause of their fighting and you don’t know a way to fix that cause you are a helpless child and all those who want to be close to you.you cant feel any connections with your friends.you start to avoid your parents.

    Later years,you start to become a bit conscious and start to think what have you accomplished all these years,what has been your role in this life, your life’s been nothing but useless and waste of time .mind just overthinks about the mistakes you have committed,all the regrets you have from your past,all the things you missed because of your cowardice.what you do is :just waste your years overthinking everything.you think rebeling and blaming parents by not studying, and doing whatever you like is a punishment for them.but you realise later you were just stupid and harming your own future and your self esteem.

    Then years go by and one day you realise,instead of blaming anyone ,just take full responsibility for your life,accept all of yourself completely.have the thought on the back of your mind that you have to help yourself,support yourself,motivate yourself.you have to keep on going on in this life..you have to have something some goal you want to achieve.you have to walk towards a better you to save and forgive yourself for all the suffering you have gone through.
    Just keep on fighting and maybe one day you are who you want to be and where you want to be.a little wiser parents than your parents, a little wiser and sucessful person than who you were as a young boy.

  6. One thing i realised recently when my parents quarell (they rarely do,like once or twice a year that too for a petty little things ) even though its extremely rare occurence in my family i feel a lot of anxieety and feeling i dont understand when that happens and i know that they are gonna be fine in couple of hours or next day and the reason is not big.Then i wonder what do the children feell where there is seriou issue and constant quralles and disagreement. I am so fucking lucky to be in my situation and feel extremely sad for people who have to go through that

  7. It was not a problem for me as a kid my parents were really understanding before. But as both me and my sister entered our late teens my parents just started quarreling on smallest of the reasons. And it made living under the same roof really unbearable.

  8. They used to fight a lot, still some times do. But I have out grown all those things. And know that they will pass out. And I have to do better, learn from their mistakes. Your happiness is in you never forget.

  9. Just left a quarreling home When Madarchood bau tried to Hit me with khukuri nearly choked that mf To death But I have Senses.So i didnt.
    Drunk and Drug abuser all my life.
    It Affected me in a way that im hard to love/Open Up I have mood swings.one moment im the happiest guy next moment everything feels bland but overall.Im Happy now that i left lmao leave grya ek mahina vo and i cant even remember one moment with him lmao.
    Aba Bachelor skeysi bahira janchu then Travel earn.
    1.5 months left Life is about to change fast and big time Financially and mentally.

    Tho I dont blame anyone turning evil and shit Tho Shits Hard.
    Im really proud of myself for not being one.
    I try to help everyone as far as i can Just ajkaal i make sure that its both ways both in love and friendship.family vanni ramro snga grna paiyena experience.always the free bird afno life afai shape grey i guess.

  10. So back in 2007/08 my dad beat up my mom and sis pretty bad. Didi lost sight in one of her eyes. Mom had some health issues. We’ve always had quarrels and fights in our home. As i was the youngest and lived with my uncle I was shielded from these events and didn’t know much about them. Everytime i went home in dashain mom used to tell me about these incidents and it would make my blood boil. It still does. My relationship with my dad was never great. It’s even more strained now.
    I have less respect for him and all of my siblings value our mom more than him. It probably hurts him but I’ve stopped caring.
    Something I’ve vowed with myself is that no matter how terrible my marriage is going to be, I’ll never raise my hand against my SO or my children.

    Domestic violence is never the answer nor the solution. It’s something I intend on teaching my children.

  11. They argued but it seems situation has turned to worse in their budhesh kaal.

    I swear I couldn’t stand my mother’s nagging voice even in those times when my father is at fault.

    Luckily, I don’t live with them. I feel sorry for my brother. Poor brother started drinking when he also had a problem with his wife.

  12. I did, my parents fought sometimes even physically. I feel bad saying this but I thrived in chaos. My poor elder brother was more emotional than me and away in boarding school. He saw fighting in his childhood and I’m sure it affected him. I was not built that way. I was smart even then, sharp as a whip. I knew exactly what to do to make them stop fighting, I would go in between and cry and pretend I was getting an asthma attack. I was super charming and sweet as a kid, eventually my parents stopped fighting. Mom always says their relationship and finances got 100x better after I was born but I know I just distracted them long enough for them to get along.

    The only way it has affected me is I can read body language very well and I can tell when a relationship will not work out within a few weeks of dating. That still has not stopped me from making naive and stupid decisions mind you, you can be all the smart you want but if your heart wants something you are fucked.

    People have labelled it overthinking but it is not. I also am not afraid of confrontation and communication, which to guys who value peace over being real and sorting things out like adults seems like a chore. So I stay clear of most guys like that. I guess the experience for me has been for the better.

  13. I don’t even feel sad, angry or bad anymore.Feels like theme music of my life playing in the background.

  14. I’ve witnessed quarrel and violence in my family since I was 10. Both of my parents are alcoholics and both have cheated on each other. My teenage was pretty rough because of constant stress and lack of social skills. I can’t remember the last time we celebrated a festival like a normal happy family.

    But I managed to improve myself as I entered my 20s. You learn to motivate yourself as time moves on. You accept that life is hard and even though you want to take the easy way out, you remember that this is the only life that you’ve got and you take the best out of it.

    I may not achieve my dream but I’m sure as hell that I won’t do what my parents did to me.

  15. Same thing in my family. they fight and once they start they just don’t stop one speaks and other keeps talking back. It really breaks my heart

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